Independence day 2015, year 5

Early this morning,  I hung out the flag.  It's become a tradition since we moved here.  The other houses we lived in didn't have a flag holder but we had always intended to put one up.  So,  now this is part of our new normal.  A new family tradition to hang the flag out,  in front of our house,  on the 4th of July.

Our old normal,  consisted of going to Family Camp.  A week long church retreat that catered to the whole family & would be around the 4th of July.  It was a  long tradition of many families.  Friends,  who were like family to us,  who we only saw during that one week.  It was a highlight of the year for our family.

 We would have an old fashion parade where kids would decorate their bikes & scooters with red, white & blue ribbon.  And of course there was a marching band,  that everyone who ever had anything to do with an instrument (even if it had been 10 years since they graduated from highschool band as it had been for my husband) was invited & cajoled into participating.  One year,  there was a boy who marched playing a violin.  I miss Family Camp & all that it meant.  I pray that the memories won't fade but will live in our hearts forever.

And now we have new traditions.  The kids are involved in historical reenactments & have learned how to fire old war artillery.  We,  also,  party with our new church family.  Playing typical picnic games like 3 legged races & watermelon rolls.  But perhaps the most fun,  is shooting our own fireworks.  This was prohibited in the state we use to live in.  Now,  in this new normal,  I volunteer at the firework stand & sell them to raise money for the band (oh, the joys of public school). 

New normal isn't so bad when I think of these things.  Yes,  I miss the old normal,  but this is part of moving forward.  It would have happened even if Daddy hadn't died as we would have seen the kids parting to make their own traditions & gain their independence.

As I reflect on my own new normal & this independence that I've been thrust into.  I can say that I'm pretty proud of myself.  I've had to make so many major decisions as part of being "head of the household".  I've done so many things that I use to let my husband (& before him,  my own Dad) do because those where things that husbands & Dads do.  For instance,  last year,  one of the side trees needed to be trimmed because it was blocking the view of the street when backing out of the garage.  This year with all the rain,  I'm thinking that if I don't get the big limbs cut that they will break on to the roof with the heaviness of the leaves.  This one,  I can't do on my own,  but will have to hire someone.  That in itself is something hard to do,  because I don't know how to judge who would do a good job & not charge me fairly.  I'm such an easy "mark" for a conman.  And in this,  I hate that the buck stops with me.

So,  on this Independence day,  I celebrate that I'm doing okay in my new normal.  I just wish I didn't still miss my honey so very fiercely.

Welcome...#fmfparty

Yipee!  the five minute party is back http://katemotaung.com/2015/01/08/five-minute-friday-welcome-and-a-video/ & the posted word is: WELCOME.

 So,  I have 5 minutes to write about this & not dwell or spent time looking for the right image.  I have to confess that I did just that before I started the timer.  At first,  I was going to write about the places I feel most welcome,  but so much of that has changed with the circumstances of my life.  And that just doesn't match with what I'm thinking my word for the year is going to be.... more on that another time.   Wow,  time goes fast,  I only have 2 minutes left.  Anyways,  I was perusing the images & saw so many signs about welcome to my city.  And that brought back so many memories of road trips & me insisting on taking a family picture in front of said sign.  In fact,  when I was first married (oops,  the timer went off,  but I'll still finish this story), we literally stopped at every small town in the Midwest (my husband, at the time, worked for Doty Labs for the summer & we drove to all the grain elevators collecting samples to send back to the lab.  It was a wonderful summer.  And I loved how creative each town would be to try to convey it's personality & make you feel welcome.

okay,  broke the rules just a little bit,  but I was having so much fun blogging & I wanted to finish the story & keep on smiling.  And I really do love looking at all these welcome signs.  Here is a welcome sign that I want to visit sometime.  It was on the "wish list" before Daddy died.  And we were suppose to go when the boy grew taller & was double digits.  But finances & other circumstances has put that dream on the shelf.  Maybe,  someday,  I'm still hopeful & that's what matters. 

Doors

I've been pondering about doors in my life lately.  Maybe,  because I've been looking at old pictures (have had to get them out for Sr slideshow both for Sweetpea Princess & Superstar) & revisiting my word for the year.... MOVE.

As I was looking through my photo albums,  I noticed that quite a few were taken in front of our doors.  I'm not sure why,  but it brought up so many memories. In one of the houses that we lived ,  I wanted to have red doors.  So,  for Mother's Day that year,  Daddy & the girls took the doors off & in our front yard,  painted them a lovely brick red.  I think that has to be one of my favorite presents.  I was so proud of those beautiful doors,  but I absolutely loved my paint streak beauties & how they chattered through the whole process.  It was bittersweet when we moved from that house to live closer to my mom & Daddy's dream job of being an engineer.

 The following year,  we drove by the house & saw that the new owners had replace the doors.  I wish I had known,  I think I would have taken those red doors with me.  I loved those red doors.

But,  those red doors wouldn't fit the house that we are living in now.  I don't think that red would even look right on the house.  Some people try,  but it doesn't fit.  The doors that I have now are appropriate for the time period that the house was built.  If I had enough money,  I'd commission my husband's cousin to make a stain glass window to go above the door.  Maybe,  the kids will read these & take the hint for another Mother's Day present (but this time about a window).                                              





The red door, just, doesn't fit in our lives anymore because we've MOVED.  And now,  I'm seeing so many doors in my life open.

 

I don't want to say that I've moved on because in saying that I feel like I'm saying I've forgotten.  I will never forget.  It's just that I have to move forward & go through certain doors which means some doors will close.  It's these decisions that are scary.

 I"ve also been pondering that if there will be doors in Heaven.  Jesus said that there will be many mansions & He left to prepare a place for us.  I wonder if there are doors,  they'll just be left open.  Heaven will be wonderful. I'm holding on patiently expecting (HOPE).

Cast of Characters #2

the kids say that I left out some important family members in my introductions.... THE DOGS.  I'm debating if I give them anonymity.  They don't need it.  And Sweetpea Princess who graciously made the profiles on the other introductions say that the dogs won't stay still enough to draw.  Oh well,  I'll add something later (I love being able to edit!)
 disclaimer.... these are not pictures of our real dogs because it's true they won't stay still,  but maybe if Sweetpea feels some creativity she will draw them... pretty please?

SHEPHERD,  not her name,  though we really don't know her "real" name since we adopted her through a rescue group of german shepherds.  It had always been on my bucket list to go through the process of obtaining a rescue dog.  I think the kids thought I was just dreaming when I said we were going to do it.  I wanted a german shepherd because I grew up with them & know that they are easily trained to be protective.  This is what I wanted & in fact had told the girls that I wanted to name her "boyfriend killer".  I had this image of saying, to the invited boys at our house, that we rescued Shepherd & don't know if she was a drug dog,  while she was sniffing their pockets.  Well,  it was a pretty intense process,  with an application,  phone interviews which followed a home visit then a "meet & greet.  We had selected a picture online of the dog we thought we wanted & with other people meeting their selection,  we had an outdoor "party".   It was an hour away (seems like everything is an hour away from our small town) & we showed up early.  They were just bringing the dogs out with their foster parents & Dolly (she is who had picked) was shy with us.  Shepherd on the other hand was latched on to the kids & won their hearts.  She was there because her foster mom was bringing another dog & hadn't anticipated us.  It was a sad parting & we kept the name that we brought her home with.  It fits better than boyfriend killer.

POODLE,  also not his name,  came to us straight from his doggy mom.  Getting him is an example of what happens when you say,  "I'll never..." because,  I was never going to get a poodle,  for Christmas.  I actually got him for Baby Girl because she asked.  I think she was surprise when I said that I'd consider it.  I think she was mentally preparing herself to my answer of no,  since she had been disappointed so much in the past.  Daddy said she could have horse riding lessons when she was 13 (he died when she was 12).  I had said that she could be a guide dog trainer as part of her homeschooling in middle school.  We stopped homeschooling in 8th grade.  Baby Girl has had alot of disappointments in her young life.  And so when I heard about these puppies & she implored me for one.  I prayed & felt the "yes".  I know she was quite surprised & delighted.  We met the little thing when he looked like a black guinea pig & was the biggest one of the litter.  I wanted a black one because I had the idea that we would name him Darth Vader (I was still looking for a dog that would be a boyfriend killer!)  But we didn't name him that.  Sweetpea Princess did NOT think that we should get another dog & I thought if we let her name him hoping, it would endear her to him.  Ha,  she now calls him "her boyfriend".  I guess it worked.

Both dogs sleep with me.  The kids say it's because I'm alpha dog.  I think it's because I let them on my big queensize bed.  They sleep on Daddy's side.  They help me feel protected.  They are doing their job.  Plus,  they help keep me moving since I have to get up & take them for walks every day.

And so,  there you have it.... that's my cast of characters (for now)

Cast of Characters

As we were all gathered for Christmas,  my kids asked about my new blog & wondered how I was going to refer to them since I was being more discreet.  So,  I thought I'd introduce my family

Sweetpea Princess is my first born & probably had all the nicknames that are going to be mention (well maybe not the boy ones).  But her Daddy use to call her that when she was tiny & he would tuck her under his chin & then take a nap on the couch.  She is away at college,  but it is only 2 hours away so is able to come visit when her studies aren't intense (hardly ever since she is a 4yr 4.0 & is getting ready for grad school & doctorate program in Physical Therapy) & job schedule doesn't interfere.  Sweetpea has a heart for missions & has been an inspiration to many.  She's one of my heroes.

Superstar is 3.5 years younger but has been trying to keep up with big sister since she was born.  They "debated" if Daddy gave her this nickname,  but like I said before,  he called all of them interchangeably & I'm ending it now & calling her this.  It fits, because ever since she started swimming at the grand age of 5 she has been setting records.  Superstar is in her last year of public highschool & has been a testament of the solid foundation of homeschooling.  I think I was a good teacher for my kids.

Baby Girl really had this name for the first 2 weeks of her life since she was birthed at an urgent care & I took her home without naming her on her birth certificate.  I actually call her Sweetheart more because that's what she is..... the biggest heart for children & the underdogs.  I've discovered that her love language is the same as mine & it's been fun to watch her love on the people in her life.  I'm so blessed that I'm on of those people.

Brother,  my son,  coming at the tail,  12.5 years from Sweetpea & 6 years from Baby Girl.  He is all boy in a gaggle of girls & can get in a heap of trouble for it.

Linda Caroline,   a form of my name that one of my best friends from nursing school has dubbed me.  My father wanted to name me Caroline after the president's daughter.... my mother wouldn't have it & named me after her dead sister.... sigh... I have never really liked my name,  but it is what it is.














Daddy,  I think I'll introduce him here, as well, since he's still a big part of our lives.  He died 3 years ago of SNUC,  a rare form of brain cancer.  He was the best husband,  but even better Daddy & that's why I'm choosing to refer to him as that.