Birthday blog 2015

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This picture is what held me back during the 31 day challenge.  I had in my plans that since I had put a picture of my birthday cake during the last challenge,  I wanted to carry it forward & make a consistent blog on birthday.  I don't remember fully what I was going to say,  but I got caught up in the details of perfectionism & couldn't get past the obstacle of not having things go MY way.  And so,  I just dropped it,  ignored it & let drop, what I thought was the perfect idea for the 31 day challenge.  It makes me sad a bit.  But I think I'm going to put the idea on the shelf,  continue to look at it,  mull over the "dailys" & pick it up & do it again come October.  This time,  I'll be ready & have the pictures stored in my cache.  I'm sure that something else will keep me from it,  but maybe because my 2016 word is COURAGE that I'll be battle-ready to overcome the obstacles.  I feel like I'm doing so well by finishing this draft & posting it today because it won't be perfect.  It won't be how I had planned.  But it means that I'm letting that go.  It means I'm completing this task & starting again.  It means I've dusted myself off from falling (or my perceived failing) & moving forward.  I am starting to see how this word does fit with my other two.  I'm getting excited about blogging again.  YIPEE!!!

31 day challenge accepted

I've been wanting to get back to blogging regularly,  but just couldn't get motivated... or actually,  I wanted my blog to be just so,  perfect & of course didn't have enough time to do that,  so just didn't do it.  But I found this challenge at http://write31days.com/ & thought maybe this is what I need to kickstart me back into the habit.... I just need to get back to moving....

Party cleaning

Yikes,  the party is this weekend! And after I got most of the outside cleaned up & flowers in the beds,  it's suppose to freeze tonight.... seriously... it's the middle of May & my friends in California are exclaiming about 100 degree weather for their zoo outings.  So,  we are going to have Plan B ready for this "open house" graduation party on Sunday.  That means that I'm in "stash & dash" mode to cleaning my house.  Nobody can enter my bedroom because that's where I'm putting the boxes that I've filled up from the front room & family room.

I had to work yesterday so I'm a day behind in getting things done.  Superstar wanted to help yesterday & offered to clean the front room.  But if we are going to "stash & dash" the piles that I have there,  I need to know what box they are in.  So,  I need to be the one who does it.  And I was so tired last night after picking up Chinese take out,  I just wanted to lay down.  I needed to be doing so much.... but alas,  it was NOT done but I did go to bed early & am feeling refresh today to whip this clutter house in order.... maybe...


My coworker said that all that mattered is if the bathroom was clean.  Yup,  that's done,  thankfully the kids keep this in order... even though the shelf has LOTS of hair products & curling irons & straighteners & bobby pins & ribbon &... SIGH,  I love my girls pretty hair.

Ok,  off the computer & GO CLEAN for this party.  Hmmm,  in my ponderings,  I'm wondering how many times I try to spiritually clean my heart thinking that someone "spiritual" is coming & seeing my outside.  I need to remember that God sees my heart ALL the time & I need to keep it clean ALL the time as I entertain my King

move... lighting speed

Life has been moving at lighting speed.  It isn't the road that I wish,  but it's the path the God has put us on.  And the journey is as it should be.

Lately,  it's felt like a ride that is exhilarating at times,  but mostly one that I'd like to get off & have a breather.  One that I'd get back to the end of the line with my family to watch & anticipate being back on.  I'd love those line times when we would just talk & share,  funny at the time,  it was tiresome to get into a long line at Disneyland for just 5 minutes of "thrill".  But now when I remember back,  those are some of my best memories with my kids.

Superstar will be graduating from highschool in 3 weeks.  Talk about lighting speed as I think about getting the announcements out,  preparing for our open house graduation celebration & family coming.  I've also been picking up more worktime as other people in the office have graduation events to attend.  And there have been so many end of the year & award banquets to attend.

So,  when I do have time... when I should be getting things done,  I'd rather sit on the couch watching mind numbing reality TV (oh my gravy!.... the cowboys are still my favorite & maybe if they are on for the 5th time,  they'll win).  I should MOVE off this easy chair & off the computer & clean up the fish pond since we are having the graduation party outside & it would be lovey to have the fountain running instead of buried under the leaves.  I should be planting more flowers in the bed & replacing the dead ones hanging from the porch railing.  I need to cut out the articles of Superstar from the newspapers that are piled by the front door so I can bring them to the recycling center.  There are so many worthwhile activities that I should just get a MOVE on.... yup,  this was definitely the right word for this year

I did get the ferns hung & the hosta is cleared of leaves,  but it's just in a pile by the picnic table & I'm waiting for Brother to wake up to help me bag them.  My flower pots don't look like these but I'm thinking maybe I should go look for some for the front porch.  The ones that I have hang down & have the expose brown grass stuff as the bottom & held in by black iron.  I just wish I was in the mood to do this.... seriously,  I'd rather be on my couch with HGTV & watching someone making  a yard & house beautiful.... actually,  can they come to my house & do it.  SIGH!  ok,  off the computer & going to MOVE (what a great word!)

Doors

I've been pondering about doors in my life lately.  Maybe,  because I've been looking at old pictures (have had to get them out for Sr slideshow both for Sweetpea Princess & Superstar) & revisiting my word for the year.... MOVE.

As I was looking through my photo albums,  I noticed that quite a few were taken in front of our doors.  I'm not sure why,  but it brought up so many memories. In one of the houses that we lived ,  I wanted to have red doors.  So,  for Mother's Day that year,  Daddy & the girls took the doors off & in our front yard,  painted them a lovely brick red.  I think that has to be one of my favorite presents.  I was so proud of those beautiful doors,  but I absolutely loved my paint streak beauties & how they chattered through the whole process.  It was bittersweet when we moved from that house to live closer to my mom & Daddy's dream job of being an engineer.

 The following year,  we drove by the house & saw that the new owners had replace the doors.  I wish I had known,  I think I would have taken those red doors with me.  I loved those red doors.

But,  those red doors wouldn't fit the house that we are living in now.  I don't think that red would even look right on the house.  Some people try,  but it doesn't fit.  The doors that I have now are appropriate for the time period that the house was built.  If I had enough money,  I'd commission my husband's cousin to make a stain glass window to go above the door.  Maybe,  the kids will read these & take the hint for another Mother's Day present (but this time about a window).                                              





The red door, just, doesn't fit in our lives anymore because we've MOVED.  And now,  I'm seeing so many doors in my life open.

 

I don't want to say that I've moved on because in saying that I feel like I'm saying I've forgotten.  I will never forget.  It's just that I have to move forward & go through certain doors which means some doors will close.  It's these decisions that are scary.

 I"ve also been pondering that if there will be doors in Heaven.  Jesus said that there will be many mansions & He left to prepare a place for us.  I wonder if there are doors,  they'll just be left open.  Heaven will be wonderful. I'm holding on patiently expecting (HOPE).

my ONE word resolution: MOVE

During the wait for the Rose Parade,  there was a news segment that talked about new year's resolutions & how more than 85% (or maybe it was higher) do not follow with their list.  It was then follow up with the book called My one word.  His theory is that you will keep to one word  because of the simplicity of it. http://myoneword.org/book/  One word is easy to remember.  One word can mean more than one thing.  And this is where my word comes in

my word is MOVE.... after all this blog name is about becoming unstuck... so hence,  I need to move.    Moving in all 4 aspects of my life
PHYSICALLY:  I need to exercise more,  have more movement in my daily life.... not quite sure how I'm going to do this,  but if I have MOVE in the forefront of my mind,  then I shall move.
INTELLECTUALLY:  I have had to shift my mindset from homeschool mama to... not sure as my kids have moved to traditional brick & mortar school.  I've had to attend booster meetings & learn about common core.  I've had to learn how to be more organized as the kids schedule hasn't been in my control but at the mercy of the school administration.  And now as I think about moving back into the workforce.... oh my,  will I have to go back to school?  Is my intellect ready to move to that kind of study?  But I am working on moving intellectually.
http://www.griefshare.org/

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EMOTIONALLY:  I'm moving towards healing with the help of http://www.griefshare.org/  I don't really have the luxury of wallowing in my grief.... sigh...

But I am moving.  I wish it were faster,  but I'm am starting to become unstuck.
And lastly,  SPIRITUALLY:  I'm moving by putting on sensible shoes... ha,ha... no really,  I started reading this book on spiritual disciplines & want to feel the Holy Spirit move (another sigh).  This perhaps is the most scary to move because it takes me out of my comfort zone.  It is easy to be content in my relationship with the Lord.  But I want true growth.  I want to MOVE closer to God"s heart.  I want the joy of my salvation.





I AM MOVING.........  MY ONE WORD:  MOVE