rest daily

thank you free image that wants to sell this hammock

 It's all about balance.  So,  here is my post about rest because it follows play daily. Rest is not all about sleep (though I think that is what my post will be about tomorrow)  One of these days,  I'll buy a hammock to relax in.  That's what resting is... relaxing.  I love how in this picture the girl has her feet up & there is laundry waiting for her.  My work daily post was about that... laundry.  But anyways,  I digress.  Rest is about taking a break,  not just from work but from play as well.  It's about putting your feet up & clearing your mind.  Sometimes,  it does lead to sleeping.  But most of the time,  it's when you can just breathe & feel peace.  This doesn't happen enough for me.  Most of the time,  I fill up the empty time slots with activity.  Yes,  sometimes,  the activity is restful (like reading or watching tv) but I need to just rest & relax to have peace daily.

paying bills, sigh...

It's Tues.  And my day off.  I have scheduled to do the bills on Tues,  but it's something that I stress about daily.  Because,  doing the bills isn't just about opening the envelopes & writing the checks.  No,  that stopped when my husband died.  He was the provider of the family & the bill payer.  I am the comsumer that he use to try to teach to be more organized & budget conscience.  We went to the Dave Ramsey class & I know what I'm suppose to do,  but knowledge & doing are not the same things.  Especially,  when the bills keep coming & the disorganization becomes chaos.  Bill paying now is juggling.  Who do I pay first?  When does the benefits check come in?  What can wait?  Can I work extra to add to the incoming?  It's about choices & being organized.  I struggle in the clutter.  This is my daily.  This is my Tues

my morning constitution

I will add pictures later because I actually took the time to take them in anticipation of this post.  Remember,  I wrote about taking pictures of my toilet.  Yup,  that's today's daily.  Nope,  I don't have to write this on the list to do.  My body urges me without any prompting.  Sometimes, when I'm not ready & sometimes not enough.  I remember when I was younger (oh so much younger),  I worked with the elderly & there was a certain gentleman who walked the halls early in the morning.  I asked him,  "why?" & he would not be deterred as he continued by me answering,  "I've got to get my morning constitution".   I really had no idea what he was talking about,  so I asked the nurse & she just laughed at me & said,  "he's getting his body moving".  I didn't want to be disrespectful,  but I wanted to say, "duh,  I can see that for myself as he is walking around the halls,  moving his body".  But now that I'm older & I've been told by my doctor that it would be wise to get more fiber in my diet,  I know what "morning constitution" is... & it's part of my daily.

the B-I-B-L-E

thank you media cache & whoever pinned this on pinterest
Thankfully,  the one on my table isn't as dusty!

It's Sunday morning & time to get ready for church.  The Bible sits by my bed,  but it's not the one that I bring to church.  I need to find that one.  I need to read this one, FIRST.  This is a daily that needs to be more of a daily.  I need to read God's word as His love letter to me.

thank you free images I'm giving credit

Early on in my   dating relationship with my husband,  we were in different states.  It was before emailing was prevalent & so we relied heavily on the postal service.  Of course,  we talked on the phone every day.  But it was those letters that really caught my heart.  I would anxious wait for the mail & tear into the envelope when it arrived.  Then,  I'd read it quickly.  Then,  I'd read it slowly.  Then I read it again before stacking it with the others.  Sometimes,  before putting them away,  I'd read all of them,  in order of their arrival.

 Pretty sappy,  but they were my physical signs of affection from the heart of the one who said he loved me & who I loved.  It was my link to the one who was so far away.  It was something,  I could touch & hold on to when I would start to doubt our relationship.  They were true love letters.

There is a TRUE love letter that I forget about & that's the Bible.  I don't want to forget this daily.  I don't want to relegate it to the shelf.  I want it opened & messy from the daily wear & tear of constant use.  Oh Lord,  help me to remember...

Read a blog, be encouraged, love this daily

thank you red sea holiday for this stock photo

It's Saturday, day 3 of the challenge & I'm scrambling a bit because I really should be getting ready to go to Baby Girl's band competition (I still have an hour until the house wakes up but I haven't packed the "stuff" yet that I usually pack the night before, but we had the highschool football game to go to... yada, yada, yada). And so, I started this morning with a bit of reading others who are doing the challenge. Oh my, I am so encouraged to be joining this community. This is part of why I LOVE this challenge. Frankly, I thought I'd just be reading this year. But I had a prompting of the heart that said, write, you need to WRITE. But I don't know how to write. I certainly don't know how to blog. Nobody reads my stuff. And so I was going to just read other people's stuff.

thank you media cache

 The stirring in my heart wouldn't go away. Seriously,  I didn't want to do it.  I didn't feel like writing & I know myself enough to know that if I didn't FEEL it,  I wouldn't endure the challenge when it got hard.  So, I put a condition on it. I wouldn't do this challenge unless a "good" prompt came to mind, unless, it was something that would be easy for me to write about on the fly. Unless,  it was something fun.   And so, the prayer went up & stayed tuck away for 2 weeks. Then bam, it hit me while doing my "to do" list (for that story you can read my intro ). I, still didn't want to do it, but when I took the dogs on a walk, all these ideas & different blog post came into my mind. And then, when I got home, I started taking pictures of some of the "daily"s. And it's going to be fun. I had alot of fun doing them (you should have seen me setting up the picture of the toilet.. hee, hee). And that's when it hit me. I'm going to join the 31 day write challenge. I'm going to have fun & not stress. I'm going to read so that I can think better.  I'm going to read my own stuff & really that's all that matters to this blogging stuff. 

So,  anyways,  I didn't have any pictures of me reading (maybe I'll get one of my kids to take one later & add it here, but even if I don't, I'm NOT going to stress about it).  So,  I searched free images of ladies reading.  Ha, ha that was fun,  I did think of putting one with beautiful tan legs sitting by a pool with a book open was fun.  But I did choose one the closest that looked like me (NOT).  Well,  I do have a straw hat like that... hee, hee. 

31 day challenge 2015 landing page

I wasn't sure I was going to take up the challenge this year because I lacked inspiration & motivation.  But last week,  I was working on my to do list for the day & laughing at myself for writing things that I do daily.  These things do not have to be written down.  They get done (most of the time) even when they are NOT written down.  I think I write them down just to have something to cross off.  And I started to think about all the things that I do daily & wondered if I had 31 of them,  so "wa-la" inspiration was born & the motivation was there... then... but now it's October 1 & I'm just making this landing page without any direction or plan.  Actually,  I don't even know if I'm making this right.  I tried making a "button",  but that got frustrating.  But I feel like I'm letting myself down by not doing this challenge.  And so here I am moving FORWARD... I"m planning on coming back to this post (if I've made it right) & adding the linkys (is this the right term).  So,  I'm coming back every time & adding my post for the day,  I still am not sure if I'm doing it right.  But I'm trying & enduring & perservering!

Day 1 31-day-challenge-2015-landing-page
Day 2 blog-button
Day 3 read-blog-be-encouraged-love-this-daily
Day 4 the B-I-B-L-E
Day 5 my-morning-constitution
Day 6 paying-bills-sigh
Day 7 daily-distractions-1
Day 8 work-daily
Day 9 play-daily
Day 10 rest-daily
Day 11 pray-daily
Day 12 welcome-each-new-day
Day 13
Day 14
Day 15
Day 16
Day 17
Day 18
Day 19
Day 20 timer-is-my-friend
Day 21
Day 22
Day 23
Day 24
Day 25
Day 26
Day 27
Day 28
Day 29
Day 30
Day 31

Twelve steps Tuesday

I think it's become a habit.  This morning when I was walking the dogs,  I was trying to think of the title of my blog.  I knew I wanted it to be an alliteration & something that I would continue.  But nothing that started with a "t" stuck out to me.  And I became somewhat disappointed knowing that I needed to get a blog done & I wasn't inspired.

This was the start of what could have been a downward spiral for me.  I've been battling a little bit of depression.  And as I continued on with my day,  I was dwelling on the feeling of being alone in my decisions;  of not having anyone to bounce my ideas.  I started to feel unappreciated, inadequate & unlovely.  I felt the urge for Ben & Jerry (something chocolate please) & to watch HGTV (house hunters international intrigues me) See,  what I mean by the spiral down.

And then as I was cleaning off the table,  I caught sight of a note from a friend from a program I went to when I first moved here.  I had promised many that I would seek counseling & grief support.  But I couldn't find anything in my town except Celebrate Recovery.

 I didn't know it was a program for addictions & other habits & hang ups.  I just knew that it met at the Baptist Church & it seemed like a group that I could say,  I kept my promise.

There I found a Bible based program of real... oh wow,  very REAL people who were trying to get out of holes that they dug themselves but hanging on tightly to the hand of Jesus.  They let me cry without judgement that I wasn't trusting God's will.   I felt acceptance where I didn't feel it in any other church setting.  Ironically,  the leaders didn't know what group to put me in,  because they had never had anyone come off the street that said,  I'm grieving & I need to feel okay about it.  

I was placed with the women who were in "bad" relationships.  Who had been abused or abandoned.  Ladies who enabled bad behavior in their men.  Ladies,  who in the years past,  I would never have been able to relate to.  I'm not sure I can relate still,  but they let me cry & express my disappointment with God.  They let me get mad at God & didn't judge.  They gave me love from their own hurts.  And it's just what I needed

Now,  I've been going to a Griefshare group & it's good.  It's what I need to be in NOW.  I'm not sure I could have been accepting of the principles back then.  I was too raw.  I just needed to be loved & told to "work the steps".

Which leads to me to my alliteration today.  The 12 steps are very basic & its what I did today to get me out of my slump.  In a short version,  I had to admit that I was letting negative thought overtake me & had to recognize that God is bigger & decide to believe God.  I read lots of Bible,  especially Psalms & mediated how God keeps me sheltered.  He is my refuge.  And then,  I met with a friend & shared with her what I learned.  And she was encouraged.

This is why,  I'm naming Tues,  my 12 step Tuesday & will continue after the challenge is over

Habits

I've heard it said that it takes 21 days to form a habit.  I suppose that's why this challenge was created to help us "wannabe" writers get into the habit of blogging.  I've been reading posts from the facebook page & it's been from alot of people who stumble upon the challenge.  I, on the other hand,  thought long & hard about it knowing that it was going to form a habit.

Yes,  I want to be blogging again but do I want to take precious time away from my family to be on the computer.  Do I have the discipline that it takes to not spend hours looking for just the right image to go with what I want to convey?  Will I prioritize my tasks so that I will blog every day?  These & other questions were what I wrestled with when I learned about the challenge.  I didn't want it to be something that I started & didn't finish.  I wanted to form a GOOD habit.  It's really not about posting something every day (though if I really do that,  it will be a measureable goal that I will celebrate).  But making a habit to limit my computer time. A habit of learning how to blog & make the pretties (font change, strike throughs, linkys, buttons... stuff like that)  A habit to plan so that I can be organized.  A habit of  writing & being vulnerable.

   
 A habit of sharing my                        heart

31 day challenge accepted

I've been wanting to get back to blogging regularly,  but just couldn't get motivated... or actually,  I wanted my blog to be just so,  perfect & of course didn't have enough time to do that,  so just didn't do it.  But I found this challenge at http://write31days.com/ & thought maybe this is what I need to kickstart me back into the habit.... I just need to get back to moving....

Back to MOVE

So,  I really do want to get back to blogging,  but life keeps getting in the way.  This morning,  I "walked" a 5K.  It was fun to go out there with my kids.  True,  they passed me after the start line,  but hey,  I'm back to MOVE.  And I'm back to blogging.  I really want to get back to adding something at least once a week.  Hopefully,  inertia won't set in.

Such a long hiatus.... time to MOVE (what a great word!)

I didn't mean too,  but I've taken almost the whole summer off from blogging.  The summer isn't completely gone,  but with the kids in school & routines falling into place,  it might as well be done.  But we still have Labor Day weekend.  And then,  sigh,  the summer will be over.  Hopefully,  I will be blogging more consistently again.

New Reads

One of my favorite things to do is get lost in a good book.  It can be a bit dangerous when you have small children since all hell breaks loose as my nose was buried in a historical novel (that was my favorite genre when my kids were little,  loved the Morris series!)  I couldn't put it down as I was involved in the main characters lives & would say to myself,  just one more chapter.

But soon,  I had to give this up for light reads or 5th grade chapter books (since my kids were girls,  I started reading the American girl doll series,  I actually liked them).  I have tried to keep up with what my kids  were reading & have been surprised that I've liked them.  One of my rules with movie going was that the book had to be read before seeing it on the Big Screen.  Most of the time,  the kids agreed with me that the book was better.  Now that the kids are older,  there are more opportunities to read again.  This weekend was State Swim meet (Superstar got another medal to add to her collection).  This meant lots of opportunity to sit & read as we waited to watch her swim less than a minute.  I started reading   Divergent.

 I know my kids want to see the movie & have read the book already.  So,  I picked it up at the library (along with an audio book by John Grisham,  made the long drive go faster).  But,  I digress,  the books I've been reading lately have been those that my teenagers have been caught up in.  They seem so realistic.  That's how I felt about Hunger Games & now how I'm feeling about this book.  This stuff could really happen.  And it makes me long for Jesus to come before any of this tribulation stuff.  Sigh.... scary.... though I know who is the Victor,  I still do not want to have to fight.  But I guess that's what makes it a good read.

Snow Day..... AGAIN

There were peals of "hurrahs" & "yipees" when the call for school reach came on Monday night saying that the administration had decided to cancel school the following day.  SNOW DAY!

It meant they didn't have to pack their bags for a swimmeet or plan a lunch to avoid cafeteria food.  It meant that they could sleep in & not worry about "that" test or turning in "that" paper.  And I let them have their "day off",  but when the call came again, for another snow day, they were actually a bit disappointed knowing that they had to shoulder some of my responsiblities while I had a full day of work to go to.  It didn't seem as fun when it was too cold to go outside & play.  And frankly after building one snowman,  it didn't seem worth the time & effort to make anymore.

So,  when ANOTHER snow day was announced for today,  I think they were seeing the consequences.  They'd have to stay in school until June.  They were missing all the chatter of their friends at the lunch table.  They were missing out on much needed practice both for swimming & show choir.  All the pleasure of snow days had lost it's shine & now I was hearing groans & sighs ( I was going to write "peals of groans.... but that didn't sound right).

There is a spiritual analogy here somewhere....

yup,  CS LEWIS wrote it.... a much better analogy than I could have come up with... one of my favorite books

awww.... that's an idea for a snow day,  to curl up in front of a fire with a good book & a cup of tea

Quiet hum

It really is quiet here in the house.  All,  have returned to the routine of school & I'm at the dining room table with papers to file.

I couldn't do this while the kids were here because this is a quiet job.  I couldn't do this with them around because I wanted to be fully engaged with them.  Plus,  I really do hate having to tackle all this paper.  I'd much rather just let it pile up.  But then,  there is the frustration of having to find a slip of paper as the kids file their FAFSA & me,  my income tax.

Vacation was wonderful as we relaxed,  played games,  had movie marathons (we finally got to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy),  made snow angels &snowmen (sigh,  now that song is going to be in my head,  but it is a good song & I love when my girls sing it to each other) &  made LOTS of noise.  And now there's just a hum in the house.  A lovely hum combination of refridgerator & outside tractor (my neighbor is working on a tree that fell during the recent icestorm) making an underlying harmony with the song in my heart of this being my abode.

If I listen with my heart,  I can still hear the kids laughing with each other as they complain how long it takes to finish a game of Monopoly.  I'm reminded of the Psalmist song of "BE STILL".  I wonder if it's so we can hear the hum in our hearts.