Independence day 2015, year 5

Early this morning,  I hung out the flag.  It's become a tradition since we moved here.  The other houses we lived in didn't have a flag holder but we had always intended to put one up.  So,  now this is part of our new normal.  A new family tradition to hang the flag out,  in front of our house,  on the 4th of July.

Our old normal,  consisted of going to Family Camp.  A week long church retreat that catered to the whole family & would be around the 4th of July.  It was a  long tradition of many families.  Friends,  who were like family to us,  who we only saw during that one week.  It was a highlight of the year for our family.

 We would have an old fashion parade where kids would decorate their bikes & scooters with red, white & blue ribbon.  And of course there was a marching band,  that everyone who ever had anything to do with an instrument (even if it had been 10 years since they graduated from highschool band as it had been for my husband) was invited & cajoled into participating.  One year,  there was a boy who marched playing a violin.  I miss Family Camp & all that it meant.  I pray that the memories won't fade but will live in our hearts forever.

And now we have new traditions.  The kids are involved in historical reenactments & have learned how to fire old war artillery.  We,  also,  party with our new church family.  Playing typical picnic games like 3 legged races & watermelon rolls.  But perhaps the most fun,  is shooting our own fireworks.  This was prohibited in the state we use to live in.  Now,  in this new normal,  I volunteer at the firework stand & sell them to raise money for the band (oh, the joys of public school). 

New normal isn't so bad when I think of these things.  Yes,  I miss the old normal,  but this is part of moving forward.  It would have happened even if Daddy hadn't died as we would have seen the kids parting to make their own traditions & gain their independence.

As I reflect on my own new normal & this independence that I've been thrust into.  I can say that I'm pretty proud of myself.  I've had to make so many major decisions as part of being "head of the household".  I've done so many things that I use to let my husband (& before him,  my own Dad) do because those where things that husbands & Dads do.  For instance,  last year,  one of the side trees needed to be trimmed because it was blocking the view of the street when backing out of the garage.  This year with all the rain,  I'm thinking that if I don't get the big limbs cut that they will break on to the roof with the heaviness of the leaves.  This one,  I can't do on my own,  but will have to hire someone.  That in itself is something hard to do,  because I don't know how to judge who would do a good job & not charge me fairly.  I'm such an easy "mark" for a conman.  And in this,  I hate that the buck stops with me.

So,  on this Independence day,  I celebrate that I'm doing okay in my new normal.  I just wish I didn't still miss my honey so very fiercely.

five minute firiday: RELIEF

it's time for me to blog & here is the link to the prompt.

so,  all I can think about is weather... relief from snow.  Can't imagine that it really snowed in Colorado yesterday,  but my friends on facebook posted pictures so it must have happened.  HA< HA! just glad it wasn't here.  But there is still so much that can still happen in this season & every time a storm hits,  I think TORNADO & I'm so relieved that I didn't have to herd my kids (& dogs) into my dank, dark basement.  But I would do it & have relief that we were saved from being carried away by a big wind.  I'm relieved that with God,  I can move FORWARD (ha, ha... my word for the year,  trying to put it in all my post) otherwise this journey is truly stuck.  I'm relieved that my FOREVER FRIEND biopsy came back negative.  I HATE cancer.  I'm relieved that my kids are fairly normal & I can trust their choices.  Prom is this weekend.  I'm relieved that the timer to the laundry just dinged & my five minutes are over.  I wish I was relieved of getting the house company ready,  but glad that I have a house that can have people over... sigh... ding

Story Sunday: Seaweed snacks

 I'm not sure if I deemed Sunday as story or silent,  but I couldn't post these pictures without words.  There's such a story behind them.  And so for today,  it's Story Sunday,  with my seaweed snacks.

I was so excited to find these in of all places.... WALMART.  True,  they were tucked in the asian corner of the aisle,  right beside the jasmine rice,  but they were there.  Stuff like this is hard to come by in my neck of the country.  And though they were a bit pricey,  I had to buy them.  I had to enjoy the taste & the memories. I was introduced to these yummies in college.  In my Junior year,  I lived with Japanese exchanged students who had all sorts of wonderful treasures to share.  But that is not the story that I wanted to share.

No,  this is about my other roommate,  Diane... & yes I'm using her real name.  Because,  I also wanted to share her awesome blog, http://dianesamson.com/ wings for your dreams.  So,  with this my anonymity may be ruined,  but really it's just a game to try to keep my identity underwraps (& to respect my kids wishes to keep them out of my social media reveals).  Anyways,  back to Diane (love you girlfriend & so glad you are back to the road to recovery),  she loved our roommates in different ways & they loved her "typical American" meat & potato ways.  I, on the other hand kept asking if they had anymore spicy little crackers that I could spread their shrimp paste on.  But my real downfall was these little packages of dried seaweed.

  They even had their family mail me a care package of them.  And I would slurp & crunch & moan with delight at the taste of them.  This is the way of the Japanese to show their appreciation of their food.  Actually,  the highest praise is to burp.  But even, I,  stop at this un-norm.  Anyways,  Diane on the otherhand did not share in my experience.  She would cover her ears at my nonsense & politely ask me to take it down the hall.  This is such a fun memory for me as I think about my college years.

 My usual fare for snacks are chips.  I love anything with salt & crunch.  I think that's why the seaweed was such a hit in my wheelhouse.  Yummm.... it's strange how the senses evoke our emotions.  Just thinking how the smell of the seaweed was or how the sound of the crunch of the chips brings such pleasure to my heart.... ha, ha... I'm not laughing out loud,  but smiling real big.

yes,  this is actually in my fridge

But chips are not healthy & I need to get to healthy living,  in going FORWARD. I just wish they evoke my pleasure centers... hee,  hee

It wasn't Friday

On my morning walk with the dogs yesterday,  I realized that it was Friday & not Saturday.  And I sighed a sigh of relief because I didn't have to rush around to get Brother to Basketball,  then piano contest & then to help with Uncle's roof.  And then,  I laughed at myself for stressing about a blogpost for Five Minute Friday when it was actually Thursday.  And then,  I pondered about "break".  I read another #FMF post & she wrote about how Jesus took breaks.  I,  also read another (but not a #FMF) where she wrote about our society has gotten so selfish about "me time".  Both were valid & I wasn't sure which side I want to be on.  Can't I be in both camps?  I didn't read anymore break blogs,  one because I didn't have time & second because I didn't want them to cloud my thoughts in my ponderings.  I still want to write about break.  I like this word.  It's deep.  Maybe this will be my word next year.  But I need to move (oops that was my word from last year... old habit) FORWARD (this year's word is good,  but not as good as move).

So,  I've pondered & read through my old post to see if I gave my coworker a nickname.  I didn't. (Oops,  when I was finishing up this post,  I saw a label for Beautiful Blonde & I did write about her... ha, ha  here Sally the Beautiful Blonde) I want to because I need to write about work more & she is a big part of why work has been good for me.

I think I will nickname her Sally.  Because well,  it's close enough to her real name & because she kinda looks like her with the curly brown hair & the cute smile.  She is younger than me,  but not that much since we have kids around the same age.

She's been in the office for almost 20 years.  And has been a wonderful friend.  I didn't realize how much until she had to be absent with her broken arms.  I had come to depend on talking with her about life.  It was easy because we have alot in common.

And so,  even though it wasn't Friday,  I joined the party early & wrote a post.  And even though,  I wasn't going to write about broken tibias,  I wrote about Sally.  Hi Sally!

five minute friday : BREAK

So the prompt word is BREAK.  What do I do with this word?  I've got 5 minutes to try to do it.  It's an overwhelming word.  So much content,  lots of directions I could go with it.  I feel a bit overwhelmed.  I wish I would have looked it up this morning & had a walk with the dogs to mull it over.  But,  I'm in bed with 2 hours before this Friday is over & I want to blog.  But BREAK?  really?

My first thought when I saw it,  "yeah,  right... I took a break from blogging"  but then I got even more bleak & thought,  " I took a break from life".  Nope,  that's not the direction,  I want my thoughts or this blog to go.

Then,  I thought about my coworker, (I need to go over my blogs & see if I gave her a nickname).  She has 2 breaks in her tibia.  She fell & broke both elbows.  Yup,  ouch... nope,  that's not the kind of break either that I want to blog about.

Ha... timer up,  I guess,  I don't really have to write about it now.  I've accomplished my goal.  I've blogged.  Yup,  no real substance & that disappoints me a bit,  but I'm moving on. I'm going forward.  I will revisit this word after I've ponder.....

Time to change the sheets

I'm waiting for my bed sheets to come out of the dryer.  Usually,  I hang the sheets because I love the smell of sunshine that lingers after you take them down. The kids laugh with me as I inhale deeply & say "smell that sunshine".   I know it's not the smell of sunshine but of dried cotton (or percale,  I'm not sure what my sheets are made of).  But to me,  it's the smell of sunshine,  outdoor freshness & good memories of my childhood when I would hang sheets with my Aunty Ben.  

 Alas it's winter now & that means flannel sheets.  It means that there is still ice outside & the rain from last night has made lots of mud underneath my clothesline. It means putting the bedsheets in the dryer with a smelly thing that advertises to be outdoor fresh.

But my bedsheets or smell of sunshine isn't really what I wanted to write about... as I was walking the dogs this morning,  (see I told you I do my blog thinking while I walk them),  I was thinking about what i needed to get done today.  And it's not Thurs so I can't do the sheets.  Baby Girl had a memory at the dinner table the other day of taking her bedsheets & stuffing it into the pillowcase & tossing the bag over her shoulder & singing "hi ho, hi ho,  it's off to work we go" & how it they would do it every Thurs.  It was the routine.  And now the topic of this blog came into my thoughts.

In moving forward,  sometimes you have to get out of your routine.  When you are stuck & tangled,  you have to change & do something different so that you can move forward.  But sometimes,  you just have to get back into the routine.  I'm probably going to have to come back to these thoughts.  There is alot to ponder.

onward FORWARD

Tonight,  on my last walk of the day with the dogs,  I thought about blogging.  I do this often on my walks,  but I come home & get distracted & blogging doesn't happen.  Almost didn't happen because yup,  came home & got distracted.  But I want to move forward & onward & blog.  Even if it's about being distracted.  I had thought that I would blogg about the lovely smell of rain & fresh dirt.... it signifies spring.  I had thought about writing about walking the dogs.  I had thought I would even write about blogging even though it's not the "30 day challenge".  But no,  I'm just writing so that I will get a post in before it gets to be months that I haven't blogged.  I still can't believe that I didn't write anything in February.  Yup,  it's definitely time to move FORWARD...